No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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