I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
