no. you can't hotbox the world.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
