since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
