$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
