I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
