i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
