someone get that fucking seahorse.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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