VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Enjoy the penises
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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