I'm really into asian looking animals
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
