I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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