Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
