Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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