im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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