i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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