I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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