I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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