its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
