i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
