i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
