Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
