Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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