i barfeds in our rink
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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