Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How does one acquire holy water?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
