guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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