Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
