You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
