the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
