is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize