apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
