a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
