You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
