Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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