I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
