Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
