So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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