So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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