Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
