you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
