i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
