every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
