i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
