You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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