And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
another moral hangover. fuck.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
