he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
