oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How does one acquire holy water?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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