i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Enjoy the penises
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
