New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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