Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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