She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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