now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's blow job season.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
