she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Ladies don't puke and tell
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
