I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
