is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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