ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
