how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
why do cheetos always look like penises
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
