Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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