winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
