there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
