Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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(903): View more from Texas

pop tarts are not kleenex

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(630): View more from Illinois

Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER

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(706): View more from Georgia

We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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(757): View more from Virginia

almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.

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(509): View more from Washington

Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.

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(214): View more from Texas

PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.

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