the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
please come you make the beer taste better
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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