dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
