try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
